The Lighthouse Club
A Fallen London tale. The Obstinate Patriarch has requested your assistance in making a man of his son, the Timorous Scion. The Timorous Scion knows of a club that may be of more assistance.
Fallen London is © 2013 and ™ Failbetter Games Limited: www.fallenlondon.com. This is an unofficial fan work.
Comments
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What a sweet tale! I love fanwork so much, especially when someone does the work to make an interactive one. It was really heartfelt!
Normally I wouldn't mention typos, but since you wxplicitly asked for them:
Should be "the more /you/ lean on proverbs."
should be "analogy" instead of "anology".
Should be "But /our/ chairperson" instead of out.
Missing screen title?
There's a few missed commas as well, but you might consider that too minor to note. Loved your work!
Thank you so much! Always on the hunt for where I've blanked on my typing. As for missing commas I'd like to know - some may well be stylistic, I spend far too long thinking about whether I'm using too many or too few commas in my sentences.
Alright then, these are some that I noticed.
Most of the missing commas are right before a form of address:
Get in here, lad.
Come along then, darlings.
Wait here, loves.
Would you, dear?
Come along, boy.
You'll be back, right?
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Also found another typo:
Should be "The Scion fidgets".
Sorry if this is too much or too pedantic! Wanted to reiterate that this was a very sweet story :)
Much appreciated!